The sneak peek of the CFP for the 2018 International Congress on Medieval Studies is up, and it shows this:
Tales after Tolkien Society (2): Reclaiming the Dead and the Undead; Medievalism in Metal (A Roundtable) Contact: Geoffrey Elliott
P.O. Box 293970
Kerrville, TX 78029 Phone: 830-329-5602 Email: geoffrey.b.elliott@gmail.com
Since it's up, I figure I ought to note what all we put out about it, so that the CFP can get answered appropriately. The following text emerges from what I sent to the Congress for consideration--and, it seems, tentative approval!
I. Reclaiming the Dead and the Undead
A paper session, the panel seeks to interrogate appropriations of medieval
concepts of un/death in contemporary media, attending to how the medieval
corporeal/spiritual divide is reinscribed and transgressed by the
appropriations. In brief, it means to look at how recent ideas of un/death
correspond with medieval antecedents and what that correspondence suggests.
II. Medievalism in Metal
A roundtable, the panel seeks to investigate medieval
referentiality--acoustic, iconographic, thematic, and otherwise--in metal
music and among metal bands. (The session will likely need to make use of
a/v equipment.)
Send in abstracts and contact information; I'll be glad to have them!
Read the previous piece in this series here. Read the next piece in this series here.
6.5 “The Door”
Written by David
Benioff & D.B. Weiss
Directed by Jack
Bender
This episode is all over the place, plotting-wise and characterization-wise.
The writers clearly have no idea what to do with Sansa, the Kingsmoot is a hot
mess, Arya’s conscience comes and goes as necessary, Jorah’s inability to take
no for an answer finally pays off, and Bran’s complete self-centeredness gets a
lot of people killed.
Up at the Wall, Sansa is sewing. But, wait, I thought the Feathered
Black Dress of Sexual Manipulation was the last time she wanted to sew? I
thought she was a Strong Woman™ now, and everyone knows sewing is Weak and
Girly! But apparently it’s important that her clothes not look exactly like the
Night’s Watch uniform, and Jon needs a new outfit now, too, so Sansa’s taking
care of it. Here’s the thing: this is perfectly
reasonable. Sansa’s not a member of the Night’s Watch, so she can’t wear
their clothes, because what you wear in this society is important. But since all
she left Winterfell with was the dress she was wearing, she does need new clothes—something
warmer, at least—so she’s modifying what she can find at the Wall so she’s
clothed but not dressing up like Night’s Watch. She also makes a new outfit for
Jon, reflecting his change in status. Good! This episode also sees her using
her political savvy to try to get help from the Tullys, which is a good move,
too. She rejects Petyr’s help/manipulation, primarily because of his role in
her marriage to Ramsay. This is all great, except that in the overall development
of Sansa’s character, it’s wildly inconsistent. The inconsistency continues
with Sansa’s decision not to trust
Jon fully with all the information she has and how she has it. Also, when they
discuss how to get the remaining families of the North to join their army, she
forcefully points out that while Jon’s not a Stark, she is . . . and Jon’s just as much Ned’s son as Ramsay is Roose’s.
So she’s the one Stark left (as far as everyone knows), but Jon’s going to be
the one in charge? This makes even less sense when they run across Lyanna
Mormont, because her role shows that the North will accept a girl in charge, so
Sansa handing control over to a bastard-born man makes no sense. To lead the
armies? Sure, maybe; Jon has experience. But it’s wicked obvious that Sansa
intends Jon to be in charge of the North when this is all over. They’re not
trying to reconquer Winterfell to make her Queen in the North.
Meanwhile, Tormund can’t stop ogling Brienne, and I’m not
really sure how I feel about this. It’s clearly supposed to be funny, but why?
Just because of Tormund’s face? Because Brienne isn’t traditionally attractive,
so of course it’s hilarious that this wildling giant (who brags about having
had sex with a bear) drools over her? Because she’s so clearly uncomfortable
with his drooling? All of the above? Also considering that they don’t see each
other for the rest of the season, what purpose does this really serve other
than to get the audience laughing at the discomfort of a woman faced with the
lustful stare of a man she barely knows?
Over in Braavos, Arya gets her second chance to prove that
she can serve the Many-Faced God rather than haring off on her own agenda.
Jaqen sends her out to kill Lady Crane, a wildly popular actress who’s
currently playing Queen Cersei in the Free Cities’ version of the crazy wild
politics happening in King’s Landing. The play apparently manages to cover the
first three seasons plus a few episodes of the show (featuring the very funny
Kevin Eldon as Camello as Ned Stark). Of course, they get everything wrong, but
it’s wrong in a way that makes sense if you haven’t been privy to the inner
workings of the people involved the way we have.
Arya manages to weasel her way backstage, where we’re
treated to an up-close look at the Joffrey-actor examining his penis for warts.
Thanks. This isn’t exactly what we meant when we asked for equal representation
in nudity, guys (especially since it's quickly followed up by boobs to balance everything out). She observes the players for a bit, then goes back to Jaqen to
try to figure out why Lady Crane deserves to die. Jaqen tells her it doesn’t
matter; the Faceless Men are servants, and they have a contract.
Over in the Iron Islands, the Kingsmoot takes all of three
minutes. Theon essentially abdicates in favor of Yara, then Euron shows up
(again, looking way less intimidating than he’s described in the books) and
promises to build a fleet, sail east, marry Daenerys, and take the entirety of
the Seven Kingdoms. Despite also admitting that he killed Balon, this gets the
support of the Ironborn and they declare him king. While the priests drown him
and bless him, Theon and Yara run away with the entire fleet.
In Vaes Dothrak, Dany chides Jorah for not following her
orders again, but one look at his
greyscale-infected arm has her crying and not killing him like she promised to
do. Instead, she orders him to go find a cure and come back to her. Because
refusing to hear “no,” telling a woman you love her, and constantly throwing
yourself in her path is obviously the way to get her to like you again.
In Meereen, Tyrion and Varys turn to propaganda by bringing
in a red priestess to tell everyone how awesome Daenerys is. The priestess,
Kinvara, is perfectly happy to do just that because Daenerys is the One Who Was
Promised. Sure, she knows Melisandre named Stannis the Promised One, but anyone
can make mistakes. She convinces Varys because she knows that he heard a voice
in the flames when he was castrated, and she claims to know who the speaker is
and what she/he/it said.
Finally, up beyond the Wall, Bran gets another revelation
that’s just kind of tossed at us without any kind of analysis before all hell
breaks loose. He and Brynden visit the Children of the Forest back before their
near-extinction, and we see a heart tree surrounded by standing stones that
spiral out in the same pattern the Walkers created with horse pieces at the
Fist of the First Men. Bran watches a Child shove an obsidian dagger into the
heart of a human man—all the way, so the whole thing goes into his chest—and leave
it there. His eyes turn blue. When Bran comes to, Leaf explains that they were
at war and they had to defend themselves. So we find out that the Children of
the Forest created the White Walkers as a defense against the First Men—and then
we bounce right out of there and move on. I have so many questions.
Later, Bran’s acting like a spoiled toddler who doesn’t want
to take a nap, throwing sticks at Brynden, then taking himself into the visions
without Brynden’s help. He winds up alerting the Night King to his presence and
giving away their position, not to mention managing to break the magic that
blocks the Walkers and wights from coming into the cave. Way to go, Bran. Meera,
Hodor, and Leaf start packing the sledge, but Brynden needs to pass the mantle
of Greenseer on to Bran right now,
which apparently means taking him back into vision-Winterfell. This is where
Bran’s abysmal treatment of Hodor as less than human comes full circle (and it’s
a very complicated circle). Bran won’t come out of the vision, despite Meera
needing his help to calm Hodor and get himself into the sledge. Hodor starts
panicking, Meera’s screaming at Bran, the Children are fighting, and Bran can
kind of hear all of this in the vision so he wargs into Hodor—but Hodor from
the past, Wylis before he’s Hodor—somehow managing to control present-Hodor
this way. Meera, Bran, and Hodor escape the cave, leaving Summer, Brynden, and
Leaf to die, then Meera orders Hodor to “hold the door” and leaves him behind with Bran still
vision-warged into him, giving him no choice. In the past, Wylis collapses as he witnesses his own death and
starts yelling “hold the door,” which mushes its way down to “hodor.” And
faithful Hodor, who never did anything to deserve the way these awful people
have treated him, dies holding that door.
RIP:
White Walker #3
Summer
Brynden Rivers, the Three-Eyed Raven
Leaf
Hodor
Next week: Coldhands arrives. Margaery starts the long game.
Sam and Gilly at Horn Hill. Arya makes a choice. Dany makes a speech.
Read the previous piece in this series here. Read the next piece in this series here.
6.4 “Book of the
Stranger”
Written by David
Benioff & D.B. Weiss
Directed by Daniel
Sackheim
Reunions abound in this episode; nearly everyone gets to see
someone they haven’t seen in a while (some longer than others). Martin referred
to characters meeting back up as the plot “delta-ing back in,” contracting in
preparation for the end game. Now, obviously, the people Benioff and Weiss have
meeting up are not the same people Martin has meeting up toward the end of A Dance with Dragons or will have
meeting up in The Winds of Winter,
but that’s because Benioff and Weiss are so far off-page at this point there’s
no salvaging the story.
Edd tries to talk Jon into staying, but Jon points out that
his Night’s Watch vow holds until death, and he died, so he’s leaving. At that
point, Sansa, Pod, and Brienne arrive at Castle Black and there’s a whole
reunion scene that would be way more touching if Jon and Sansa had spoken at
all in the first episode. Or mentioned each other at any point since then. Or
anything other than completely ignoring the fact of each other’s existence.
Sansa claims she often thought about how horrible she was to Jon (she did?) and
he admits that he wasn’t a joy to be around, either (still isn’t) and they
forgive each other. They make plans to go take back Winterfell, even though Jon’s
tired of fighting.
Meanwhile, Davos tries to find out what happened to Stannis,
and all Melisandre will tell him is that Stannis died in battle. Brienne chimes
in that she saw that battle and it was a massacre, and by the way, she totally
murdered Stannis and he admitted to using blood magic against Renly just before
she took his head off. Davos looks shocked—shocked!—as
though he didn’t already know about Mel’s shadow-babies. Also, Mel plans to go
with Jon because now he’s the Prince
That Was Promised.
I’m generally confused about show-Mel’s motivation. In the
books, she’s fiercely loyal to Stannis, completely unable to admit that she
might be wrong about his fate, and believes she’s helping him find his destiny
to fight and win the upcoming war against the dark. Sure, her religious
philosophy is a bit twisted and she’s willing to do anything to achieve her
goals, but her main goal is getting Stannis as much power—political and
metaphysical—as possible so he’s best positioned to fight the Dark. Show-Mel hangs
out with Stannis until it looks like he’s losing and then jumps ship faster
than a drowning rat. She told him that if she’d been with him at the Blackwater
they could have won, and then, when faced with an actual battle where she could
have proved her abilities were invaluable, she bolts. She seems to have
generally forgotten the whole Ultimate Battle thing and just wants to find a
man to serve/manipulate—Jon is the next most promising man after Stannis dies.
Now, I’m certain that in the books Melisandre will realize that the reason the
fire keeps showing her Jon or snowstorms when she asks to see “The Prince That
Was Promised” is that Jon is The
Prince That Was Promised and possibly switch allegiances, but I’m also certain
that the context for this switch will be wildly different and more complex than
what we see in the show.
Later, in the mess hall, everything is awkward. The food is
bad enough that the visitors are having trouble eating it (Tormund is having no
such problem), Tormund is staring at Brienne and making her visibly
uncomfortable, and then a Bolton messenger comes in. Ramsay says he has Rickon
and he wants Sansa back. This is the final impetus Jon needs to finally shake
off this particular bout of brooding and agree to help retake Winterfell. And
since he’s no longer bound by his Night’s Watch vows because he said so, it’s
not treason like it was in the books! That’s convenient!
Ramsay has Rickon, of course, because the Umbers turned him
over in the last episode. Now Osha’s brought before Ramsay. She tries to
convince him that she had no real loyalty to the Starks and could be super
useful to him—by sitting on his lap. Hey, it worked for Theon. But when she
goes for a knife, he gets it first and puts it through her throat. Another
casualty of Benioff and Weiss’ cast-trimming rampage. Also completely
predictable; Osha (despite being an accomplished Wildling warrior) tries to
manipulate Ramsay through sex and gets murdered for it because that’s what
happens to women on this show.
Petyr goes back to the Vale, where Robin is also bad at
archery. He manipulates Robin into not trusting Royce, who totally has Petyr’s
number, and then into putting Petyr in charge of the Vale armies so he can
march north and rescue Sansa, who’s been “kidnapped” by the Boltons through
absolutely no fault of Petyr’s. (cough)
In King’s Landing, Margaery is finally allowed to see Loras,
who’s completely broken. He’s been tortured half to death and is willing to
agree to anything that will make the torture stop. This whole sequence
continues the problematic way that the show handles homosexuality in general
and Loras in particular. The entire imprisonment
plot for Loras and Margaery hinges on Loras being gay and Margaery lying to
cover that up. Yet we see what Margaery’s enduring several times before we ever
see Loras. Despite being the central excuse of the plot, Loras isn’t given any
screen time between his arrest and now—eight
full episodes later. Benioff and Weiss have shifted Westerosi attitudes and
the High Sparrow’s priorities in order to use Loras as the lynchpin in Cersei’s
plan to get Margaery out of the way, and then they discard him as soon as that
shift has taken place. So much of the portrayal of Loras’ sexuality is focused
on the straight people in his life; it’s used to position people as bad/intolerant
vs. good/tolerant, and he ends up used as a political football in the larger
story. And Benioff and Weiss don’t do anything to examine what that looks like for Loras. As a character, he’s a
convenient excuse to kind of keep following the plot of the books despite all
the massive changes they’ve made, and the consequences of their changes are
never explored at any depth.
Meanwhile, Cersei has to yoink Tommen out from under yet
another person trying to influence him against her—this time Pycelle. She gets
him to tell her what he and the High Sparrow talked about, and then storms the
Small Council chamber to demand an alliance between Lannister and Tyrell to
prevent Margaery from having to do a Walk of Atonement and to rescue Loras. Kevan
doesn’t want to help, partly because Tommen ordered him not to use Lannister
forces to attack the Sept and partly because there’s a real possibility for
civil war, but Cersei asks if he wants to get Lancel out of that cult or not.
The problem here is that there’s no logical reason for
Margaery to have to do a Walk of Atonement. There have been two walks like this
in the story so far, three if Tytos Lannister’s mistress was ever mentioned (I
don’t think she was), and all three were public humiliation and punishment for
lewd sexual behavior—the High Septon for visiting a brothel and Cersei for
adultery. Margaery’s accused of perjury.
Why in the world would she have to do a walk of atonement? What purpose could
that possibly serve beyond pulling down the nobility one brick at a time? And
if that’s what the High Sparrow’s doing, then he’s not nearly as pious as he
(and the show) wants us to think he is, because guess who would be the major
power in the kingdom at that point?
Again, this is an attempt to correct for the changes made
from the book, wherein Margaery is accused of many of the same sexual sins that
Cersei is (minus incest), but released because there’s no evidence. Having her
imprisoned for perjury—after she committed it on-screen—takes away that
possibility, and I don’t think Benioff and Weiss considered the reasons for or
implications of the walk of atonement; they just decided that that’s the price
for being released from Sept custody before a formal trial has taken place.
Theon somehow manages to get to Pyke in the same amount of
time it took Sansa et al to get to the Wall (they really aren’t even trying
with geography and travel times anymore), and goes to find Yara. She’s irritated
with him because good men died to rescue him and he betrayed her. He apologizes
and says Ramsay broke him into pieces. She wants to know if he’s here to try to
take the Driftwood Throne now that Balon’s dead, but he says no; he wants to
help make her queen. This has the potential to be a really interesting,
honestly feminist (not faux-feminist) storyline, but of course Benioff and
Weiss muck it up beyond all reason.
In Meereen, Tyrion is being really bad at politics and
making his allies angry because he’s a manipulative, conniving little turd. He
firs tries to convince Grey Worm and Missandei that he’s totally the right person to negotiate with the masters because he
was a slave for a couple of days. Missandei’s having none of it (good for her)
but that doesn’t change anything; Tyrion still thinks he’s the smartest person in
any room. He has a talk with the masters of Astapor, Yunkai, and Volantis,
trying to convince them that they don’t need slaves to be rich—just look at
Westeros (missing entirely that the people of Essos see Westeros as barbaric)—and
proposes a phase-out of slavery rather than immediate abolishment in exchange
for them cutting off funding to the Sons of the Harpy. Grey Worm and Missandei
are horrified. Tyrion gives the men some prostitutes to keep them busy and
leaves.
In the throne room, a group of freed slaves yells at Tyrion
for meeting with the slavers. He makes a big show of not talking to them from
the top of the dais and gets Grey Worm and Missandei to vouch for him that he’s
trying to bring peace. Once they’ve left, Grey Worm yells at Tyrion for seeing
people as tools and reminds him that the masters have far more experience with
politics than he does.
Not only has Tyrion replaced every other advisor Dany has,
now it looks like Benioff and Weiss are trying to set him up as an even better
ruler than Dany. He’s willing to compromise! He doesn’t talk down to people
from the top of a mini-pyramid! He’s a man of the people! Of course his plans
fall apart later, but then he’s still the only one with a plan beyond “burn
them all” when a plan is needed.
Daario and Jorah have reached Vaes Dothrak, and they make
nebulous plans to go in, find Dany, and get her out. Of course they get in a
fight and of course Daario has to kill a man. But then they meet up with Dany,
who’s gotten out of the temple of the Dosh
Khaleen by telling them she has to pee. She tells them she has a plan to
escape but she needs their help to do it (of course she does).
The khals gather—in
the Temple of the Dosh Khaleen, for
some reason—and debate what to do with Dany. She asks if they want to know what
she thinks, and they stare at her like one of their horses just started
talking. They say they don’t care what she wants because she’s not Dosh Khaleen yet, but they clearly also
don’t care what the Dosh Khaleen think
because where are they? She insults them until they decide that she doesn’t get
the “honor” of living with the Dosh
Khaleen, and instead they’ll rape her to death. So she puts a hand on one
of the braziers, shocking them with her unburned-ness, and shoves it over.
Jorah and Daario have barred the doors, so the khals are trapped in the temple with a crazy pyromaniac who
apparently can control fire because she pushes over the last brazier right at
Khal Moro and the fire goes at him like a living thing. Her dress catches fire
but of course she’s fine because something something fire cannot kill the
dragon (despite Martin’s emphatic
rejection of Dany’s fire-proofness). Then, as the entirety of the gathered
Dothraki watch, the temple goes up in flames and Dany walks out, naked (of
course) but completely unhurt. And everyone drops to their knees.
I have so many problems with this scene. First of all, the
power structure of the Dothraki clearly is whatever Benioff and Weiss need it
to be. The Dosh Khaleen are in charge
of Vaes Dothrak until they’re not. Joining them is an honor until it’s a
punishment. Rape is something done to slaves by men taking their rewards for
fighting well until it’s a threat to terrorize a woman who by all rights is a
member of the Dothraki. There’s no internal consistency at all. Then there’s
the implications of Dany destroying the entire upper echelon of the Dothraki government
(such as it is) and burning down one of their religious sites and being hailed
as a “god”
and the rightful new ruler of the Dothraki for it—complete with a sea of brown
people dropping to their knees in front of the pretty white girl. (I’ll have
even more to say about the treatment of destroying a temple and the nobility at
the end of the season.)
This whole thing is just . . . so problematic. Benioff and
Weiss clearly have learned nothing from the uproar about the ending of “Mhysa.”
Read the previous piece in this series here. Read the next piece in this series here.
6.3 “Oathbreaker”
Written by David
Benioff & D.B. Weiss
Directed by Daniel
Sackheim
There are multiple oathbreakers in this episode, some more
understandable than others. Jon breaks ties with the Night’s Watch. His murderers
are punished. Sam twists the meaning of his promise to Gilly to stay with her.
Bran finds out that Ned wasn’t nearly as honorable as he thought he was. The
Umbers break any remaining oaths to protect the Starks.
So, Jon’s alive, but he remembers being murdered, and the
evidence of that murder is still on his body, so he’s understandably freaked
out. Melisandre wants to know what there is after death, but Jon says there’s
nothing. She says she was wrong about Stannis but that R’hllor bringing Jon
back means he’s Super Special. Davos kicks her out because Jon’s still getting
his bearings, for goodness’ sake. He tells Jon that they may never know why Jon
got murdered for doing the right thing, but he needs to get up and “go fail
again.” (Huh?)
Jon goes outside and gets stared at. Tormund tells him that
the other wildlings think he’s a god, but Tormund knows he’s not, because a god
would have a bigger penis. Edd just remarks that at least his eyes are still
brown so they don’t have to burn him as a wight.
Later, Jon executes the murderers—by hanging. I wonder if
Benioff and Weiss decided that beheading each of them would take too much
screen time, or if the fact that Jon, who passed the sentence, isn’t swinging a
sword (remember that in the books, he almost hangs Janos but then remembers Ned’s
advice and beheads him instead) says something about how broken he is. (Personally
I doubt they put that much thought into it.) So Jon’s last act as Lord
Commander of the Night’s Watch is getting his revenge on his murderers, then
tossing the cloak at Edd and leaving Castle Black.
Meanwhile, Sam and Gilly are on a ship bound for Oldtown, and
they’re completely skipping the whole Braavos storyline, which would have given
them another oathbreaker if they had remotely followed the book story (not to mention
that this oathbreaker’s actions indirectly led to Aemon’s death). Instead, Sam’s
decided he’s going to “stop by” his family’s holdings and drop Gilly off there
before continuing to Oldtown.
I have questions.
Here’s a detail of the map of Westeros (borrowed from this resource) that shows Oldtown and
Horn Hill. On this particular map, major ports (Casterly Rock, King’s Landing,
White Harbor) are marked with the same big stars that we see on Oldtown. These
are places where lots of ships stop. In order to “stop by” Horn Hill to drop
Gilly off, Sam would have to get the captain to sail up the Mander to
Highgarden (note that it’s not a major
port) and hike south. Also notice how far off the main road Horn Hill is; that’s
not an insignificant trip. And the chances that the captain would be willing to
do that are very low. Heck, the chances that Sam could have gotten on a ship
going straight from the Wall to Oldtown are very low, which is why in the books
they have to take a cart from Castle Black to Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, take a
small ship from there to Braavos, and then try to book passage on a ship going
from Braavos around the southern tip of Dorne to Oldtown. I think Benioff and Weiss
seriously underestimate just how big Westeros
is, hence the super weird travel times and casual stops at places that would
actually add weeks to the trip. Or,
like so many other things, they just ignore it when it doesn’t fit the story
they’re trying to tell.
Anyway, Sam tells Gilly he’s going to leave her with his
family, because that’s a great idea. She says he promised to stay with her, and
he claims that he promised that in order to keep her safe, and now keeping her
safe means becoming a maester. I don’t understand what part of keeping her and
baby Sam safe means leaving them with a man who abused Sam to the point that he
hates himself, a man who hates Wildlings (despite never having met one). Even
claiming baby Sam as his own isn’t going to help this at all. Not to mention
that Sam didn’t promise to keep her safe,
he promised to never leave her. No
amount of weaseling is going to change the fact that he’s technically breaking
his promise. Also notice how Gilly just accepts that rather than pushing back
like she constantly did at the Wall. Apparently her personality—much like Sansa’s—can
be changed to fit the current needs of a male character’s story.
Brynden is showing Bran the fight at the Tower of Joy for
some reason, despite that making no sense, as I mentioned in the last post. The
best I can figure with all of this is they’re aiming to make Bran one of Jon’s
staunchest supporters for King in the North (if not king of Westeros as Dany’s
husband) by making sure that he knows that Jon is the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna
and thus has both Stark and Targaryen blood. Since the only other people who
knew that—Lyanna, Ned, and presumably Rhaegar—are all dead (Howland Reed likely
does, too, but he’s been mentioned all of once in the show before these “flashbacks”),
if they’re going to use this as leverage, somebody has to know it, and that
somebody might as well be Bran, even if his method of discovering it is ridiculous.
Ostensibly, the reason Bran’s watching the fight at the Tower
of Joy is to see how things “really” happened rather than the legend he’s been
told his whole life (this according to Weiss in the “Inside
the Episode” thing). And apparently how things “really” happened include
Ned not being the bastion of honor that everyone always believed he was. The
trouble here is that, once again, this is entirely Benioff and Weiss’
invention. The only thing we know about the Tower of Joy is what we get from
Ned’s fever dream in A Game of Thrones,
and his frequent quick flashbacks to Lyanna dying. Other than the outcome—eight
men die at the Tower of Joy, including three Kingsguard and five of Ned’s
companions; only Howland Reed and Ned survive and Ned buries the bodies—we know
nothing about how that battle went down. I find it confounding that while they
twisted Jon’s storyline into knots to make sure he looked better, they then
throw this utterly non-canon fight into the mix to make Ned look bad—or, at
least, not as good as we thought he was.
That’s leaving aside the utter
ridiculousness of the fight itself. I mean, just look at this nonsense.
I just . . . I can’t even. They had a chance to do an
actually really cool fight scene with a really cool sword—Dawn is supposed to
be a legendary sword, after all, seeming to glow with its own internal light
because, well, it’s Excalibur—but instead we get . . . this. (If you’re
interested in a historian who specializes in medieval martial arts breaking
down just how stupid this scene is, go here. It’s like 30 minutes
long and he rambles a bit at the beginning, but it’s worth watching.)
Daenerys is still in the clutches of the Dothraki, and they’re
still treating her like a slave (making her walk) despite knowing who she is. The
leader—Weiss refers to her as the “high priestess”—of the Dosh Khaleen asks why Dany didn’t come back when Drogo died, like
she’s supposed to, and Dany says she’s been kind of busy. The high priestess
says that she’s not even sure Dany’s going to be allowed to stay with the Dosh Khaleen because she didn’t come
back right away, and it’s going to be up to the Khalar Vehzven—the council of the khals. Which makes no sense, but whatever. Nothing that happens in
the Dothraki storyline at this point makes any sense.
Meanwhile, the people Dany’s left behind are trying to keep
a city from imploding. Or, rather, Varys is trying to keep the city from
imploding by negotiating with the prostitute who’s been working with the Sons
of the Harpy while Tyrion plays drinking games and tries to get Grey Worm and
Missandei to loosen up instead of doing their jobs. Grey Worm says games are
for children, while Missandei remembers the kind of “games” her former master used
to make them play. She also says she doesn’t drink and doesn’t intend to start
now. Tyrion, however, has no respect for anyone or their boundaries, and starts
pushing. Grey Worm and Missandei are rescued by Varys coming in with the
information he got from the prostitute, that the masters of Astapor, Yunkai,
and Volantis are the ones funding the Sons of the Harpy. Grey Worm wants to
reconquer the cities, and Missandei agrees that they only understand violence,
but Tyrion pish-poshes their experience and instead gets Varys to send a
message to the various masters.
Over in King’s Landing, Qyburn has taken over Varys’ little
birds, and the Small Council tries to put Cersei in her place by refusing to
discuss anything with her. Tommen tries to negotiate with the High Sparrow to
allow Cersei to visit Myrcella’s grave, but he won’t allow it and Tommen still
won’t unleash the Kingsguard on the Militant. It’s interesting that a man who
preaches humility so hard has no trouble claiming to speak for and serve the
gods with ultimate authority, even over the secular leaders of the land.
In Braavos, Arya is still blind and still training, but she’s
getting better, which seems to make the Waif angry, which makes absolutely no
sense (as I’ve mentioned before). Finally, Jaqen sits her down at the well and
again asks her name; she says no one. He offers her a drink from the well,
telling her that if she truly is no one, she has nothing to fear from death. She
drinks, and her eyesight returns.
Finally, in Winterfell, the Umbers meet with Ramsay. They
refuse to swear fealty to him, but as a sign of good faith and in exchange for
help fighting the Wildlings Jon let loose in the Gift, they bring him Osha and
Rickon. To prove that he’s really Rickon, they also brought Shaggydog’s head,
which makes it abundantly clear that Rickon’s not going to survive the season,
either. After all, when it comes to the Starks, they are their wolves, and the
wolves are their Stark-ness and their connection to the North. Of course, in
the show, the direwolves are a CGI money-sink and since they can’t really get rid
of the dragons, sidelining the wolves is one way to cut that budget.
RIP:
Alliser Thorne
Olly
Shaggydog
In flashback: Willam Dustin, Ethan Glover, Martyn Cassel,
Theo Wull, Mark Ryswell, Arthur Dayne, Oswell Whent, and Gerold Hightower
Next week: Stark family reunion. Tyrion tries diplomacy (it
is not very effective). Dany sets a fire.
